AMY HANSEN

Sometimes you can get caught up in the success of other people.  You start comparing where you are to where someone else is.  Perhaps, you don’t quite measure up.  Then, you beat yourself up over your lack of progress because you’re not quite where you’d like to be.  Success is not happening fast enough for you.  But, often you think other people achieve success quicker and for whatever reason, you start to think that it’s just not possible for you.  This comparison trap is not a healthy place to be.  Here are five things you can do when you find yourself in the comparison trap.

Your Success

First, show yourself some compassion.  Stop beating yourself up.  You have achieved success in now and the past, no matter how small it may seem.  Don’t belittle your progress and instead celebrate your success.  Show yourself some gratitude.  Be grateful for where you are and just how far you’ve come.  Remind yourself of the success you’ve already achieved.

What You've Learned

Next, w...

One of the hardest things to do is to actually start to achieve your goal.  You may have set a goal for yourself, but you haven’t taken action to achieve it.  Perhaps you’re waiting for everything to be perfectly lined up or maybe it’s just not the right time.  It could even be fear, worry, or self doubt that’s holding you back from taking action.  In any case, your goal won’t wait forever.  Here are three key beliefs you must have to achieve your goal.

You’re Ready

First, stop waiting for everything to be perfect or for all your ducks to be in a row.  Otherwise, you’ll just be waiting forever because that will never happen.  You have to start from where you are.  You don’t need to educate yourself more, gain more knowledge, or accumulate more tools.  You have everything you need within you to achieve your goal.  You can make this happen but you just have to start.  Stop waiting because you’re ready already.  There is nothing more that you need in order to move forward towards ...

You’re feeling really bummed because you’ve stopped taking action to achieve your goal.  You were doing so well too.  You disciplined yourself to start taking action but then for whatever reason you stopped.  You still deeply want to achieve your goal.  But, you’ve lost some motivation and you’re wondering how to get back on track to achieve your goal.  You must reignite your motivation to achieve your goal again by creating a shift within yourself to take action.

Procrastination

Procrastination is something that everyone does.  Procrastination is when you put off doing something because it triggers a stress response or some other negative feeling inside you.  It’s easier to procrastinate rather that doing what you need to get done.  You can quickly come up with excuses as to why you don’t feel like taking action towards your goal.  For instance, it’s taking too long, you’re just not ready, you need to complete other tasks unrelated to your goal first, or you simply don’t have ...

You’ve started taking action to achieve your goal.  But, you’re hitting a few obstacles and road blocks that are preventing you from moving forward to achieve it.  In fact, you’re no longer taking action towards your goal at all and you’re feeling really bad about it.  With each day that passes, you fall further and feel lower than before.  This is an internal battle you’re struggling to win.  Here is how to battle and win the war so that you achieve your goal.

Thoughts

You may find yourself going down the rabbit hole of all the thoughts that you can’t stick to anything, you’re incompetent, useless, or even untrustworthy because you’re unable to keep the promise that you’d finally achieve your goal.  You might think you’re a failure and that you’ve made a mistake.  Maybe you should just throw in the towel and forget it.  At this point, it’s too late to achieve your goal anyway.  You’re so off course that it’s beyond repair and not worth trying to fix.  You continue to spiral, thin...

With the change in the weather, it marks a change in seasons.  You may be coming into fall, winter, spring, or summer.  But, just like the weather changes seasons, your life has seasons too.  You may be going through a tough time or simply feeling like you’re out of alignment that something isn’t quite right.  It’s in these moments that you need to reassess where you are in your life.  Take inventory to see what’s working and what isn’t.  You don’t have to continue on your current trajectory.  You have the power to create change.  Change is hard but there is a lot to learn with the changing of the seasons.

Reassess Your Life

Your seasons may not change every three months like the calendar predicts.  However, that’s a good timeframe to keep in mind so that you can complete a check in with yourself.  Taking a hard look at your life every three months allows you to see if you’re still on course for the goals that you’ve set or if things have changed.  Perhaps the goal that you’re wor...

You are a creature of habit.  You have routines from the way you get ready in the morning, traveling the same route to work, to then coming home to unwind so that you can do it all over again the next day.  Your routine becomes something that you don’t have to think about.  You just do it.  But, without having to put in much conscious thought, you can easily lose track of what matters most in your life.  The things around you become white noise when you do the same things day in and day out.  You must make it a conscious habit to keep the things that matter most to you in plain sight.

Finding Time

Sometimes you get swept up in this busyness of life that you lose track of what’s most important.  Dates with friends and family get pushed until another time when you’re not so busy.  Vacations aren’t booked because your schedule is too full to get away.  You avoid going after your goals and dreams because it’s just not the right time.  The truth is, it will never be the right time.  Th...

When you think about life, what makes time stand still for you?  Where time slows down and you’re fully present to what’s going on around you.  You don’t want that moment to end.  You’re present and aware of everything that’s happening and you don’t want to miss a single moment of it.  Think about what moments make you feel happy, joy, and fully alive in the present.

Rat Race

Often, you get so caught up in the day to day routines of life that it’s hard to be fully present.   It’s like driving your car and realizing that you got to your destination but not remembering anything about the trip to get there.  Scary!  You often drift off, thinking about your to do list, or things to come in the future.  You’re so focused on getting it all done, running as fast as you can to achieve everything and maintain your success that you easily forget what truly makes you happy in life.

Possessions

Along the way, you accumulate possessions that replace the important moments in your life.  Fo...

When you think about achieving your goals, you’re either thinking about the past, present, or future.  You’re remembering that amazing achievement a few years ago, being thankful for where you’re currently at, or focusing your attention on the big mountain goal that you’ve set for yourself in the future.  Do you know where you spend the most time thinking about your goals?

Past Difficulties

If you’re thinking about your goals in the past, you may be beating yourself up if you fell short.  Perhaps you’re stressed and worried about what may have happened.  You might feel sad or shame as you constantly replay past events.  Maybe there were tough conversations that keep rerunning in your mind that you’re not capable, worthy, smart, or enough.  Psychologically this can take a toll on your mental state.  Living in the past of how you wish it could have gone differently only keeps you stuck and focused on what went wrong instead of what went right.  Remember, there is always a lesson to ...

Working to achieve your goal is difficult work.  It takes a lot of stamina, especially when times get tough.  You may feel like you need to push through and carry all the weight on your shoulders.  After all, it is your own personal goal that you’re working towards.  Not someone else’s goal.  However, getting help to achieve your goal can actually be beneficial.  Here is how to ask for help to achieve your goal.

Why You’re Not Asking For Help

Your goal means a lot to you.  Asking someone else to help you achieve it can be a big hit to your pride.  Considering help may be the last thing on your mind because it may appear like you’re weak and that you can’t handle it on your own.  Perhaps it’s that other people will find out that you really don’t have it all together.  It could be that you don’t believe that someone else will follow through and complete the work as well as you.  Maybe you think that someone else won’t have as much invested into the goal as you do.  Someone else won’...

As an adult, you have a lot of responsibilities.  From your job, ensuring you have enough financial means to live comfortably, to making sure your family is well taken care of.  There are a lot of demands on you each and every day.  But, some of these demands may be holding you back from fully experiencing life and achieving your goals.  You can’t let your goals and dreams die.  Here is how to fully experience life and love the life you live.

No Regrets

If it were just you, with no responsibilities, where you could do what you want, when you want, no matter where you want, it would be easy.  However, in today’s world, you most likely have obligations that require your immediate and undivided attention.  Yet, life is about the experiences.  If you’re simply stuck in your mundane day to day routine, you won’t be fully experiencing life and all that it has to offer.  You don’t want to get to the end of life with regret of what you could have done.  Let alone imagining what life could...