When we see another person’s success, we often use this as a measure of our own success. We see what other people have achieved, their financial status, what job they hold, if they own a nice car or house, and even the kind of family relationships they have. We analyze their life and compare it to our own.
There are many factors that play into this mindset.
The first begins with already stated fact of comparison. We compare our lives to those of others. Somehow the success of others defines our own worth. If we don’t measure up we think this means we are not enough. We beat ourselves up over what other people have that we don’t.
The second mindset comes from a place of jealousy and greed. We want all the success for ourselves. We think that if we had all the “things” that it would make us look better. Read that sentence again. It would make us LOOK better. As if we...
One of the feelings that can easily consume us is worry. We worry about what’s going to happen and the unknown outcome of an event. We struggle not being in control of the result we desire to happen.
Worry happens when we start to get inside our head about the worst possible scenario. We dream up this huge story about what’s going to happen.
As we play different outcomes over and over again in our mind, the worry and anxiety builds. We start losing sleep, eating very little, and not properly taking care of ourselves due to the deep pit of fear in our stomach.
This can occur before a big event where we work ourselves up into a ball of nerves. We start stressing out about our appearance, what will we say, what will other people think of us, and all the what if’s we can think of.
Worry also happens after we’ve done something that we regret. We think, what if I would have done this or that and we beat...
We grow up on this life path of finishing school, graduating with a degree, starting an amazing job in our field, getting married, and eventually having children.
We want to make our parents proud, have that incredible career, and a beautiful family.
Life pushes us to acquire all the “things” to make it look like we have it all. We strive to have this “perfect” life as evidence that we are enough.
This pressure mounts as we get older and soon we lose sight of what we truly love in life. The passion we once had as children is no longer there. It’s now a daily routine of getting up in the morning, going to work, coming home to dinner, tv, sleeping, and waking up to do it all over again the next day. We believe that by achieving this “ideal” life we will finally be happy.
Happiness doesn’t come from having it all. It comes from living a life that we’re excited about.
We often live in our comfort zone. Our ego keeps us from stepping outside our comfort zone to try new things in fear that we might fail or be judged. Therefore, we remain stuck in this bubble for most of our lives.
Having an inkling of something nudging us to move forward is usually when we get the spark to try something new. We have a desire to make something happen that we’ve never done before.
That's when self doubt starts to creep in that we are not capable of achieving something so great. We get so caught up in our own minds that we stop and remain where we are. It then becomes easier to remain stuck in our comfort zone.
Only when the misery of our current situation becomes too much to bare, do we start to look outside our comfort zone for solutions. We only take action when our comfort zone is no longer comfortable. It is then that we draw a line in sand and say enough is enough, it’s time to make a...
Growing up we try and fit in. We want the nice clothes and the newest toys. We want to be liked by others and accepted into the group of cool kids.
Even today we don’t want to feel left out of the crowd. Today they call it FOMO, or fear of missing out. We see someone else doing something fun and we desire the same. We want to feel like we are part of something bigger than ourselves.
However, this desire to fit in just makes us a follower. We’re not blazing the path of the future and setting trends. A true leader takes a stand for what they believe in and grows a following of raving fans. They have a message they want to share with the world.
Leaders are put in the spotlight to showcase their powerful message. They become public figures that people look up to and idolize. They build a group of followers who admire them and what they are doing. The message they are sharing gains support...
Life is about being a scientist. Scientists test hypothesis and they view everything as an experiment. They either get the result they wanted or they are able to take notes and make some small adjustments to try again.
This brings to mind the Thomas Edison quote floating around the internet. It says something to the effect of “I have not failed. I have successfully discovered 1,000 ways how NOT make a light bulb.” As an inventor, Thomas Edison kept going. He did not let the disappointment of a failed attempt stop him from continuing on his path to create his invention which would change the world.
We get so caught up in our failures that we never see the lesson to improve for the next time. Instead, we are too busy beating ourselves up, if we would have done this or why didn’t we try that mentality. We need to get out of this mindset and look at the situation as a learning opportunity.
In school we were taught to raise our hand in class and even ask for permission to go to the bathroom. Our intelligence was based off how well we could memorize facts and take tests. Also, don’t forget the subjective papers that we scrutinized over being perfect.
Growing up I was the quiet one in school. I barely raised my hand for fear that I would have the wrong answer or say something that would make me look stupid. I learned to stay quiet and even today I find myself shying away from speaking up. I’m working on that through this blog and social media.
My example is proof that these habits are carried into our adult life. We have these stories in our minds that we have to have all the answers or we will fail. We are waiting for everything to be “perfect” before we can proceed. Constantly on the lookout for confirmation that we are on the right track. All the while desiring a pat on the back...
Many times when we are scrolling social media we see others doing something fun or sharing something they’ve purchased. Maybe they just achieved a big goal and are celebrating by sharing it with the world.
We start comparing ourselves to what they have done. We start feeling like we are not enough and put ourselves down. The name calling starts in our minds; you’re an idiot or why didn’t you think of that?
Often times we can be hit with a tinge of jealousy when we see these posts. We start thinking, wow, they are having fun and yet I’m stuck here. I wish I was there or I wish I had that.
Instead of coming from a mindset of lack, think about seeing it from the eyes of abundance. To be excited for this other person and realize if they have this in their life, it’s possible for me too.
Don’t compare yourself to anyone else. Be okay with where you are and know that you can achieve...
We are the makers of our thoughts. We control what our mind thinks. Our thoughts determine our beliefs. These beliefs are what we hold true about ourselves. These beliefs are the stories we tell ourselves in certain situations. And these stories can hold us back from going after our dreams.
Think about some things that you have done in your life that made you a bit afraid. Whether it’s speaking in front of a group, putting yourself out there on social media, meeting someone new, etc.
We all have these stories that we tell ourselves that psych us out, cause sweaty palms, and butterflies in our stomach. These moments terrify us because maybe we will look ridiculous or screw up what we were trying to say. We are afraid of being judged and what other people think of us.
I want to give you a process to help you change your thoughts which will in turn change the story you are telling yourself.
We all have those moments of frustration when things don’t go the way we hoped. Sometimes it comes down to lack of communication where a task doesn’t get completed properly. We may be late or the process just isn’t flowing as smoothly as we’d like.
We are in control of our lives. It is up to us to communicate what we expect and envision. No one can read our minds. When something doesn’t go the way we’d hoped, it’s easy to put the blame on someone or something else other than yourself. Each one of us is one hundred percent responsible and it’s accepting that it was our own poor communication that caused the result.
There are many roadblocks and obstacles in life. These moments try and knock us off our game. We are faced with either giving in or finding a solution. Often these situations come up when our patience is being tested.
Personally, when someone...