Asking Yourself Better Questions

You have over 60,000 thoughts a day.  Some of those are negative thoughts and some of those thoughts are positive.  In fact, a lot of those thoughts are the same thoughts on repeat.  It’s a constant loop that you’re saying to yourself over and over again.  You said the same thing yesterday as you did this morning and will again later tonight.  But, what if those thoughts aren’t serving you and helping you to achieve your goals in life?  It’s time to remove those negative thoughts that are holding you back from living your dream life.  This starts by asking yourself better questions when you notice a negative thought.

Negative Thoughts

Negative thoughts sound like you can’t or shouldn’t do something.  It prevents you from taking action towards your goals.  Negative thoughts keep you stuck in your comfort zone where your brain knows it’s safe.  Yet, sometimes this isn’t in your best interest.  Especially when you’re trying to achieve your goals.  Hearing negative thoughts on repeat only solidifies them more in your mind to be real and true.  No matter how badly you want to take action towards your goals, your brain is screaming no, don’t do it!  Learning to overcome this is going to make the difference between you achieving your goals and not achieving your goals.

Is This Useful

The first step is to learn how to stop a negative thought in its tracks.  Start by asking if this thought is useful.  Then, label it useful or not useful.  If this thought is to help you further your progress towards your goals then it’s useful.  If it’s keeping you safe from actual physical harm then it’s also very useful.  Yet, maybe this negative thought is just because you’re afraid.  Deeming a thought useful or not useful is especially tricky when it comes to fear.  You’re your brain sense fear it goes into protection mode.  However, is that keeping you safe from something that will literally kill you or just from a negative feeling of heartbreak, disappointment, embarrassment, etc.?  There is quite a big difference between the two but your brain doesn’t always recognize that.  It’s up to you to pause to identify if the negative thought you’re having is useful in preventing you from experiencing physical harm or not useful by simply trying to keep you safe in your comfort zone.

Right Question

Learning to ask the right question in the moment is effective at shifting your negative thoughts.  First, it shifts your mind.  You’re no longer on auto pilot playing that negative thought loop in your head.  Second, you have to come up with an answer.  Again, asking yourself if this thought is useful or not useful.  When you have to answer, it forces you to make a conscious decision.  Lastly, that decision leads to action.  You can confidently take action towards your goals when you know if a thought is useful or not useful.  As Tony Robbins said, the quality of your life is determined by the quality of questions you ask.  Become aware of your thoughts and the questions you’re asking yourself.  Start asking better questions to help shift your thinking so that you can take action towards your goals.

Better Questions

When you begin asking better questions, you take back the power.  You’re in control.  You’re no longer subconsciously floating through your day repeating that negative thought loop.  You’re noticing your thoughts and asking yourself better questions to get yourself into action.  Asking better questions includes finding resources to help you.  For example, where can you find this answer, who can help you, what other things can you try, etc.  These questions propel you into action.  It gives you the next step.  You’re not just sitting there rocking back and forth in your comfort zone, listening to the negative thought loop, unable to take action.  Asking better questions helps you to make a decision on what action to take next.  It gives you the power and makes you feel confident that you can tackle difficult situations.  You start to believe in yourself and that you’re capable of figuring things out rather than listening to the negative thought loop in your head.

Past Experience

Your thoughts are often driven by past experiences.  If you felt scared, belittled, sad, etc. in a situation then you’re less likely to want to experience that again.  Your brain says no and puts that negative connotation in your thought loop.  You freeze and remain in your comfort zone.  If you want to step outside your comfort zone you need to remind yourself of times when you were afraid but it worked out anyway.  Maybe this was trying something new for the first time and you didn’t know if you would like it.  Recall a time when you ended up having a blast and couldn’t wait to do it again.  Think about past experiences where you felt the negative thought but pushed through and took action anyway.  Perhaps that was speaking on stage, going somewhere you’ve never been, etc.  Write down these moments where you succeeded in overcoming your negative thoughts.  Then, when you’re hearing that negative thought loop in the future, ask yourself when was a time when you successfully overcame a difficult situation and use that as proof that you can manage this situation too.

Your negative thoughts do not have to hold you back from achieving your goals and dreams in life.  You have the power to shift your thoughts by asking better questions.  When you experience a negative thought ask yourself if this thought is useful or not useful.  If it’s not, ask yourself a better question that will help get you into action so that you know the next step to take.  Then, remind yourself that you can do difficult things as evidence from your past experiences.  Start asking yourself better questions to achieve your goals and dreams in life.