Take responsibility for the three areas in life you have control over. Stop concerning yourself with the thoughts, feelings, and actions of other people.
Often times you try to control the thoughts, feelings, and actions of other people. It could be to get other people to like you or just to be polite. In any case, you are not responsible for other people’s thoughts, feelings, and actions. You are only responsible for your OWN.
Let’s take a deeper dive into these three areas.
You are often led to take responsibility for other people’s actions. For example, someone got upset and yelled at you for doing a job incorrectly. You immediately take responsibility by thinking that you’re incompetent and incapable of doing a good job. You believe that because you didn’t do a good job, the other person took their anger out on you.
In this example you are taking ownership of the person’s actions. Just because you did this, that made them take this undesirable action. However, you can’t take credit for someone else’s action. What that person did is on them. They are the only one in control of their actions.
When someone else acts out it’s more about them and how they are thinking and feeling. Do not blame yourself and think that if only you would have done things differently then they wouldn’t have lashed out.
Besides believing you are responsible for someone else’s actions you may also think that you can control what other people think of you.
For instance, you try and control other people’s thoughts by how you act. If you do nice things, you are kind, funny, and helpful then maybe they will like you. You act a certain way hoping that other people will think a specific way about you. But, no matter what action you take, other people still get to decide how they think.
Allow other people to think whatever they want. Give yourself permission to stop worrying about what other people think. When you do this, you’ll finally be free to just be yourself because what they think no longer matters.
A lot of times you try so hard to get someone to like you because you think it will make you feel good. But the reality is, only you can make yourself feel good because you are the only one in control of your feelings.
Other people have feelings too. You act a certain way in hopes that you don’t make them feel bad. You may tiptoe around a subject and avoid telling them exactly how you feel because you don’t want to hurt their feelings. You start believing that your actions are responsible for their feelings. But remember, you can’t take responsibility for other people’s feelings.
Other people’s feelings are controlled by their own thoughts. They get to choose how they think and feel. Just like you get to choose how you think, feel, and act.
The best way to take responsibility in any situation is to share your thoughts and feelings. Communicate and explain that when this happened you thought these things and felt this way. After you’ve become aware of how you’re thinking and feeling, next decide what action you’re going to take if it happens again.
Take responsibility of your own actions, thoughts, feelings, and communicate with other people. Stop trying to take responsibility for how other people think, feel, and act. Know that you can’t control other people. Take responsibility for your own three areas and your three areas alone!