Regulate Your Nervous System

Uncomfortable emotions can be loud and hard to overcome.  It’s like someone is screaming from the grandstands.  It’s obnoxious, belligerent, and overpowering to where you can’t hear anything else.  It’s all consuming and it’s all you can see, just red.  You’re living in this uncomfortable emotional state that is messing with your nervous system.  It’s like your nervous system is on overdrive, fight or flight mode, pure survival, and you cannot escape it.  You’re maxed out to the core and something has got to give.  You have to learn to recognize fight or flight mode so that you can manage your stress response and regulate your nervous system.  When you do this, you’ll be able to see clearly and be able to take the next action step to achieve your goals.

Definition

Fight or flight mode is defined as an automatic, physical reaction to stress or danger.  You usually have a fast heart rate, high blood pressure, and a sudden burst of energy to escape the danger.  Fight or flight mode is your body’s way to protect you in moments of danger.  Such as, getting away from a predator or defending yourself in an actual emergency.  However, many people are stuck living in fight or flight survival mode without even realizing it.  Being in fight or flight mode for long, extended periods of time can lead to burnout, depression, and chronic health conditions.  You can’t continue to operate in fight or flight mode forever.

Causes

Fight or flight mode is rarely actual danger.  It’s an emotional short term survival response to a stressor in your life.  Today’s so called “threats” are not like being chased by a tiger back in caveman times.  Rather, your stressors and threats come from common everyday things from work pressure, family commitments, relationship issues, financial burdens, health concerns, etc.  Your body’s nervous system thinks modern everyday life stressors have become true emergencies.

Recognize Survival Mode

When you’re in this high pressure state, the best thing you can do is actually recognize when you’re in it.  That’s not always easy to do.  You’re just trying to survive the next moment, minute, hour, day.  You’re trying to find the light at the end of the tunnel.  You try and focus on the good things and find gratitude for what’s going right in your life.  But, it’s easy to slip right back into that emotionally highly charged state.  Recognizing when you’re in survival mode is a great first step.

The Signs

Begin by noticing the signs.  In fight or flight mode, you’re constantly restless.  You feel like you need to always be doing something.  Maybe your to do list feels overwhelming and you’re not making much progress.  Perhaps you’ve got too many plates in the air that you’re trying to juggle and manage.  You may feel completely depleted of energy yet you’re unable to truly stop, pause, relax, unwind, and sleep.  You can’t eat or your digestion is poor.  You’re anxious, on edge, and easily irritable.  Your breathing is shallow.  You find yourself breathing faster to help you get more oxygen into your bloodstream so that you can keep moving quickly.  You may feel a tightness in your chest that’s caused by some sort of stressor in your life.  These are all signs that you’re experiencing fight or flight mode.

Regulate your Nervous System

There are a few things you can do to get yourself out of fight or flight mode.  The first is to practice some breathwork.  Use box breathing such as inhaling for four, holding for four, exhaling for four, holding for four, and repeating for a few minutes to quickly regulate your nervous system.  Next, is to do a grounding practice using the five senses.  Bring your attention to where you are and notice five things you see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste to anchor yourself in the present moment.  You can also do some gentle, light movement such as walking, yoga, stretching, rebounding, or shaking your body out to release tension.  One of my personal favorites is journaling.  Get all your thoughts out of your head and down on paper to visually bring awareness to what’s going on in your mind, body, and spirit which will help you self regulate your nervous system.  You can also talk to a safe friend, family member, or therapist to externally regulate your stress response.  Sometimes just talking it out loud, even to yourself, can help you calm your nervous system.  Lastly, you can establish a calming routine to get yourself into a more relaxed, restorative state by using one or any combination of these supportive techniques mentioned.

Learning to manage your stress response is going to allow you to expand your capacity to handle stress.  This isn’t about getting rid of all the stressors in your life.  It’s just not possible.  Especially when you’re working to achieve your goals and push the limits of your comfort zone.  You will always experience things that will stress you out.  But, you can manage how you respond with less anxiety, irritability, and automatically going into fight or flight survival mode.  Listen to your body, notice the signs, and respond with compassion with tools to regulate your nervous system.

Take Action Challenge

Regulate Your Nervous System Reset

Step 1: Recognize Your Warning Signs 

Think about the last time you felt overwhelmed or stressed.

Acknowledge three signs that tell you you're slipping into fight or flight mode.

Examples:

• Racing thoughts
• Tight chest
• Shallow breathing
• Feeling restless
• Irritability
• Trouble sleeping
• Feeling overwhelmed by your to do list

Awareness is the first step toward regulation.

Step 2: Identify Your Biggest Stressor

Ask yourself, what is causing you the most stress right now?

Remember, you don't need to solve everything today.  You simply need to recognize what's activating your nervous system.

Step 3: Create Your Reset Routine

Choose three calming practices you'll use the next time you notice you're entering survival mode.

Examples:

• Breathwork like box breathing
• The five senses grounding exercise
• Journaling
• Going for a walk
• Gentle stretching
• Calling a trusted friend
• Sitting quietly outside to meditate
• Listening to calming music

Write your personal reset routine somewhere you'll easily see it.  You can even put it in your notes app on your phone.

Step 4: Pause Before You React

The next time you feel yourself becoming overwhelmed, pause for just five minutes before responding.

Then, use one of your calming practices and ask yourself what does your mind and body need right now?

Respond from a place of calm instead of survival.

Step 5: Reflect On Your Progress

At the end of the week, journal:

• What situations triggered your stress?
• Which calming practice helped you the most?
• How did you feel after regulating your nervous system?
• What will you continue doing next week?

Every time you choose regulation over reaction, you're building resilience for the future and increasing your capacity to handle stress.